Jumper

So, maybe I should have something clever to say during this like: "Jumper is like a teleportation to another world that gives us something to dream about." or "The teleporting aspect of this movie made me Jump to see it, ha ha ha!"

That may have not been a very good attempt at becoming a real critic but I have been thinking critically toward this movie, and here is my truth about this movie wrapped up in a critics stupid comment: "While I was watching this movie I wanted to Jump to the ending or even to an Amish community where they don't allow electronics, only to save myself from the embarrassment of actually admitting to watching this wretched, horrific atrocity." I threw a little bit o' Simon Cowell in there for you Idol fanatics.

The visual effects were very good, the interesting take on during a teleportation space time continuum is interrupted. I really liked the thought that went behind the concept of what it may be like to teleport. Hayden Christiansen is almost completely typecast, all I could think about was: "This guy was Darth Vader for cryin out loud, he couldn't really be this much of a pansy?!" It was fun to live out a fantasy of being able to teleport through this movie and everything he did I probably would have done if I could travel through time and space.

There were some aspects of the storyline I wanted to see more of. I won't ruin the movie if i tell you this so you can keep reading. They only mention the ability to travel through time but never show a snipit of it. I would have liked to see at least one scene of travel through time, is that all to ask? Anywho, I was excited to see this but was let down at the end.

21

"I've already seen the movie in the previews." Have you ever heard someone say that? This is one of the most classic cases. So, the wife and I were lying in our hotel room in Greeley, Colorado and I thought, "Lets buy one of those preview movies! It's cheaper than two movie tickets!" We both wanted to see 21 so, that is what we ordered. The quality was not exactly smooth since the TV we watched it on was brand new... in 1991! I wasn't thrilled that this was the medium I was going to view this movie on but figured: "That shouldn't affect the quality of the movie?" I was right! The movie sucked all by itself, it just kept going on and on and on.

With each new position on the bed I was forced to look at the clock and see just how long this atrocity had gone on. The premise is a numbers genius attending MIT has been accepted to Harvard Medical and has the right stuff to make it! Unfortunately, and this is the world you and I live in, if you haven't already figured it out, but money becomes a problem, no duh!

I kept having flashbacks to Oceans 11 each time they were in a casino and the concept was interesting but they completely screwed up the storyline. That's all it was, just another way of trying to sell the same ol' glass, may look all flashy and fancy on the outside but inside still only holds 12oz.

The plot was never really solidified in my mind, as a viewer. The story actually takes a little while to get going, and I am not talking about the plot, that seems evident in the first little bit but the actual physicality of the plot taking place seems drag-ous!

This would be a renter for me if I had had someone as intelligent and noteworthy, as myself, prescreening this kind of filth for me, but I don't so now you receive the benefit of having someone as intelligent and noteworthy, as myself. It should be a renter for you too if you care at all what I say, and you should because after all "I am your father!"

Don't waste your time and if you do make sure that the hammer you use to pound nails into your thick skull is that of a tack hammer so it will take longer and maybe sometimes you'll miss and hit your face! Otherwise, thanks for reading!

Rambo

You have to be very careful if you are going to remake a classic movie or if you are going to continue the story of a classic. There are some exceptions to this rule: Terminator, Punisher, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, etc. This is mainly due to the fact that remaking a great movie must live up to the expectations that are already inherently ironclad within the original or originals. Dangerous water has been tread with the making of this movie.

To tell you the truth I was a little excited to see it since the friendly Blockbuster employee talked my ear off for nearly seven minutes about how he thought it was going to suck and it turns out he loved it... blah blah blah! Oh yeah seven minutes may not seem that long but just take a couple minutes and time it yourself, just sitting there doing nothing...

1..................................................................2....................................
...............3........................................................................4.....................!

Alright already I'll stop and that was only four minutes think how bad it would be for almost three more minutes? How do you like them apples?!

Anyway, some o the graphics were good and it had a very interesting plot. I was shocked to see that Sly had written and directed this film. The blood/gore and death scenes rival that of Braveheart or Glory without those movies being so bad. But, a 50 Caliber will do that to people. Most of what i kept thinking was that Sly never takes off his shirt like in the classic Rambo films, they stuff him underneath to make it seem that he is still that size but we all know the truth.

It will accompany the previous three but never be as good. I will say it is right in line with Rambo 3 which wasn't very good either.

Untraceable

Each and every time I had gone into my neighborhood, friendly Blockbuster, this movie had been all rented out. I was leery, since there were only six spaces reserved for it on the shelf and I have not had very much luck with movies with only a few copies in the past. I will never forget the Lost In Translation incident. So, I took a chance with Untraceable and let me tell you it was completely worth the pain and agony I caused myself.

This movie has a great concept, and the acting keeps you believing in the storyline. The deaths are gruesome and can be related to the Saw movies but under a completely different genre rating. I believe Diane Lane is one of Hollywood’s hidden, always good performance actresses. She brings to the “silver-screen” a tension, and anticipation build that makes the story and overall story very exciting. Even the co-stars took charge of what they wanted the movie to be and that is exactly what I wanted the movie to be. This movie was definitely worth the rental fee I shelled out.

I want to review more than just the movies in the theater since, if your like us, don’t always have the unbelievable amount of money it takes to actually go to the theaters, and you just want to “veg out”, cuddle on the couch and microwave popcorn (butter lovers, yeah baby!).